…or shall I say where the sun don’t shine

Smack it up. Flip it. Rub it down.

Turkey Stuffing

Happy Thanksgiving you fuckin’ turkeys!  It’s that time of year!  Millions of people all over the country have been shoving something yummy up the arse of a turkey carcass much to the delight of all the friends and family gathered around the table..  Not particularly sexy I know…but take a second to look through that pervy third eye I know we all share and see the most enticing part of the tradition.  Something yummy…in an ass.  Now you’re all in with me, right?  Suddenly envisioning a fun, new holiday tradition.

 

 Recipe for Anal Food Play

What You’ll Need:

-Your favorite phallic food (i.e. cucumber, banana, one of those giant pickles from the bodega on the corner, snickers anyone?)
-Edible lube and lots of it (i.e. flavored lube, coconut or olive oil)
-A couple of clean towels

Preparation Time:

Just as preparing a turkey to perfection requires lots of time and patience, so does fitting a foreign object in an asshole. Just sayin’. Take your time. Slow and steady wins the race.

Prepare your surface.  Be it kitchen counter, dining room table, or basic bed, this stuffing process can get pretty messy, so you’ll want to use those clean towels to cover the surface and make clean up easier.

Prepare the snack by covering it in lube and prepare the ass with even more lube..and then some more.  Seriously, there’s no such thing as too much lube when it comes to anal play.  Also, making sure your partner is as stimulated as possible is the best way to produce an anal orgasm…so, handle that.

Start slowly perhaps with a finger or two. Then try your larger phallic food.   Continued total body stimulation while thrusting the chosen snack in back will lead to the fireworks you’re looking for. Oh, wait…that’s the wrong holiday. Whatevs…you know what I’m sayin’.  And if you’ve bought your appetite, this is where that edible lube comes in handy.  Especially if combining tossed salad with your fave phallic food sounds appetizing to you.

 

Are You Ready For Some Football…Or A Nap?

So, you’ve introduced this new holiday tradition to your partner, and if you don’t know…now you know.  Tryptophan ain’t got nothin’ on an anal orgasm.  So, you’ve turned on, turned up, and now you might want turn in for a nap.  But, if you’re the ‘night is young, turn down for what, cum shots-shots-shots-shots-shots, hashtag FOMO-YOLO’ type, you’re probably still in the mood for a game of tackle ball grab.  So, have fun with that…and always remember, it is better to give than receive.  Oh wait, wrong holiday again, right?